Sunshine and Rain: Project 180, Day 39

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Morning, all. Feels like it might be Monday again. Slept in till 4:30. Had trouble getting the graphic to post.  Might be in for a long day.

So, I came across another graphic that aptly represents the journey in the 180 classroom. Of course the goal is to get all across the divide, landing each safely in the land of the “Learner-Driven,” but the divide is wide, the ditch deep, the rut resistant to such ambitious whims as that. So, then, what? Well, that depends. Some days the gap gapes wider than the vision of my dreams, allowing doubt to cloud the road ahead. Other days, I stand firmly resolved in achieving that which must be, the goal seeming but a step away, the far edge near, my stride long, my strut secure. Yesterday, was both days.

A cloud on the horizon. So, the kids are working on their blogs for their My-Learning Projects. Aside from some initial direction to begin their day and some assistance along the way, they have both the freedom and responsibility to drive their learning. I intentionally step back. I have to, but it is not easy. I want to be at the center. I want to swoop in and drive them when they are sitting idle, their cars in park. I want to move the stick to D and make them go. Time, after all, is moving, and they aren’t. Opportunity stands not still. And, I do, to some degree, remind them of this, using my “influence” to move them ahead. To be fair, many are cruising along, their learning vehicles  moving full speed ahead. But some aren’t. And that’s not easy to swallow. Even more, some seem okay to idle in neutral.

At the end of each period yesterday, I had kids show on their fingers how productive they were. 3 productive. 2 somewhat. 1 not very. Jack (name changed) flashed me a one. I, disappointed, mildly rebuked him, and he just shrugged and smiled. He was not being insolent. He was just being honest. And that unnerves and unsettles me. And it makes me doubt. Am I screwing up? Would he be better off in a Teacher-Driven environment? Is this Learner-Driven stuff a pipe dream? I don’t know. And so I doubt, and my doubt troubles my days and nights. But with each doubt, I discover hope.

The sun, despite the clouds, is always there. Yesterday, Mikkela, remembering that I had offered an optional Performance Re-Opportunity last Friday as another chance for them to demonstrate proficiency, asked me where she could sign up. Made my entire day. And others followed, driving their own learning, “willing to take risks and go the extra mile.” Thank you for reminding me that the sun never really goes away, even if it’s hidden from our view.

Happy Tuesday, all.

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