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Today, I Need You: Project 180, Day 67

As I wander, I wonder. I wonder about the path I am on. I wonder about the kids tagging along. I wonder about those on the outside looking in. I wonder about my own truth within. I have many wonders as I wander.

The path. Most days I can see it clearly, ground rising to meet my feet. And I am elevated to mighty, resolute in my mission. I will conquer the world. I will vanquish the status quo, leading my kids to a better land. Other days it fades in and out as I look for firm footing. And I am reduced to meek, doubtful of my vision. I will submit to the world. I will surrender my sword, returning to where we began.

The kids. I look to them each day and guess their minds. But one is never sure what to make of what one finds. I think I read them. I think I know. Of that I am never fully certain, though. They are young and I am not. Maybe not all is as I thought. I could be wrong. I could be right. For this I wish I had better sight.

The outside. Many folk are looking in. And I wonder what they really see. Are they really seeing me? Do they know the struggle behind the shine? There’s much doubt and consternation behind the fine. The good is there; I will suggest. But there is also, too, a messy mess.

The inside. Oh what I hide every day, though my class is on display. In truth, I struggle behind the facade. I doubt and fret but feel no fraud. I am human. I fail and fall. A heavy load it is to haul. But at times, too, it carries light, for a triumph will have set me right.

Okay. Now that amateur poetry hour is done, here’s the deal. This is no Sunday stroll. I, as all teachers, struggle each day as I face my path, my kids, my world without, and my world within. Sure, I share my positives, for that is what matters. But I want all to understand that I have not found the answer. The past two days have been a real struggle for me. Maybe it’s stress. Maybe it’s the weather. But I am in a place where my doubt outweighs my certainty. And to this I am no stranger. I am on familiar ground. But I do not share this to evoke sympathy. I do it to suggest that I am simply a teacher doing his best, chasing his next better. And I think that is all that we can do. And I want to believe that I am not alone. I want to believe in this we are connected. And today, I want to feel that connection. I want to know that I am not alone.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will…

…begin with Smiles and Frowns.

…have an opportunity to correct or retake our latest sentence performance.

…create a new Mindset Mantra.

…set the stage for our Night discussion tomorrow.

…end with a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Wednesday, all.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

4 Replies to “Today, I Need You: Project 180, Day 67”

  • Monte. Your messy mess is beautiful! I love the privilege of being on the outside looking in. You and all of your cohorts give me such joy and hope for the future of education. You are putting the focus on the learning. You are putting the focus on the relationships. You are putting the focus on the mindsets.
    Yours is the one blog I read every day because you always inspire me (and sometimes I learn a little about writing). Thanks for helping with my better. Cheers, Melissa

  • You are not alone. In my first year of grading less – and being the only instructor they have doing so, I am finding some real struggles at the end of the term. Kids want an “A” in an elective class but have not done work deserving of such. They have not taken feedback and re-done work. They have not taken their own self-assigned goals and met them. But they still want that “A” to fit so neatly in their transcript.
    Now I must leave as I have early morning parent meetings for, I presume, some of the above reasons.
    Good luck today, and finishing the semester. I am right there along with you.

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