Had an unsettling experience at the end of the day yesterday. Have had similar before–many times before, but yesterday’s felt different. And maybe it was so because of my reaction. Enough.

At the end of my last Zoom meeting yesterday, one of my kids stayed behind.

“Sy, I am going to be completely honest with you. I have not started my essay. I have been really depressed. There are things going on at home. All my other classes (begins to cry), and…”

“Kiddo, stop. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just an essay. We have plenty of time ahead of us. I didn’t think you were slacking. I just figured there were other things going on. Take care of your other–take care you–and your other classes, and do what you can, when you can for mine.”

As soon as she “Zoomed out,” I tweeted this.

It felt like a confessional. Her screen was off. Her anxiety was up. Her voice was faltering. She started crying. And I felt like I had to free her from sin. It was unsettling, terribly unsettling. I am still unsettled by it this morning. Kids are carrying the guilt not of their but our sins. We never should have put them in this place to begin with. And though it has been amplified during this strange time, it has been a longstanding, enduring tragedy in ed–this guilt we’ve built.

It’s just school. They’re just kids. We’re just teachers. And this is just life.

That is not a short sell. That is not an “undermine” of us or them. Our work and experience with them is greatly important. We are helping them through perhaps one of the toughest times of their lives as they learn about themselves and the world around them. But it should also be one of the most exhilarating times of their lives–there is an existence to explore, a world to watch, mistakes to make, connections to create, truths to tell, lessons to learn, and the list goes on.

School does not need to suck. Kids don’t need to be overly anxious or burdened with guilt–for late work. It’s late work. It’s not a deadly sin. It’s a construct on someone else’s timeline. I am not suggesting that kids avoid responsibility. They can’t. Responsibility is life’s lesson to teach, not ours. And when we have caused kids to feel excessive anxiety and guilt for a late assignment, we have crossed a line. It’s an assignment. It’s just school. They’re just kids.

And we’re all just trying to make our way. It’s just life.

Sorry for the rant this morning. I will get back to No Grade November next week.

Happy Friday, all. Have a great weekend.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.