“It’s the only time in my day that I don’t hate people.”

My wife–the best teacher I know–and I share kids. Well, not at the same time. She teaches art at one of our middle schools, and many of the kids who are in her class eventually end up in my class once they get to high school.

Two days ago, she ran into one of our shared students.

“Hey, Mrs. Syrie! I have your husband this year. I love his class. We are like a family. It’s the only time in my day that I don’t hate people.”

The only time in my day that I don’t hate people.

Hard to walk past that one. First, I cannot believe that the jovial, effervescent young lady with a smile as big as the room said this. I’ve never really seen her not smile. So to hear that she said this, that she felt this worries me. Second, how many other kids feel this way? Third, why do they feel this way? And fourth, is there anything we can do about it?

Last, why my room?  I think I know. And it’s neither an accident nor magic.

“In my room I want you to feel connected.”

This is my first of six standards that I set for myself in my room. I want kids to feel connected to me, and I want them to feel connected to each other. And so, I make that happen. And it ain’t no secret sauce. It’s simply Smiles and Frowns. I have written about this practice and its effect a number of times. It alone, I believe, has the power to connect people and to create community. Yes, it takes time. And no it’s neither in the curriculum nor on the test at the end of the year, but it is in the fiber, the fabric of our humanity. It is easy to hate what we don’t know. It is easy to hate what we don’t understand. But conversely, it is easy to love once we know. It is easy to love once we understand. So, let’s know. Let’s understand.

In my room, this is priority number one. We connect each day with Smiles and Frowns. No matter what. Everything else can wait. Nothing is more important than the people in the room, so we start with the people in the room.

To be clear, I am not suggesting that everyone in the room “loves” each other. But 24 days into the year, I have a young lady who already describes our class as a family. Family. I cannot speak to her experiences in her other classes, but if I had to put my finger on the difference, I would point to connection. I would guess that in her other classes she does not feel connected.

Does that matter? Maybe not. Maybe it is simply about completing transactions with kids as we make our way through the day. But if kids are going through their days hating their experiences and their peers, I’m not sure that’s okay. Surely that matters.

Nothing we can do about it? Horse hockey. We can do a lot about it. And it only costs about five minutes a day. And if the result is a kid feeling like she’s among family, then I have lots of time to spend.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will…

…begin with Smiles and Frowns.

…say our Mindset Mantra.

…complete our self-assessments and publish our poems.

…reflect in our Journey Journals.

…end with a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Thursday, all.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.