I have chased many “betters” around the bend over the past six years with Project 180. It, as my regular readers know, has been a dizzying dance of Doing, Reflecting, and Doing Better, for just as soon I brave and build one better, I am already off after the next better around the bend. Indeed, better never ends; it only bends. And as I come to this next big bend in the journey (Year Seven) and take stock of where I’ve been and what I carry with me, I can only find one constant companion–a better with an end, a better without a bend: Smiles and Frowns.

It’s my hill to die on. It’s my ride or die. It’s the only permanent in my practice. And though it would likely never play out, if ever I was told that I could no longer do Smiles and Frowns, its end would be my end. They’d have to fire me. With Smiles and Frowns, there is no bend. To put a more positive spin on it, Smiles and Frowns is the best thing I have ever done in the classroom. And it always will be–no matter how many more years I have ahead of me. It is where I hang the hat of my career.

That said, let’s talk a bit about the what, why, and how of Smiles and Frowns.

Note: Yes, I have talked about it before, “Relationships Are Not Accidents” and “How I Build Community with Smiles and Frowns,” but this is an updated post, which has been long overdue. Thank you, Ron Taylor, for the nudge.

What

Of course, I did not create Smiles and Frowns. The idea of it has been around for a long time, and it answers to many names: “Roses and Thorns,” “Peaches and Pits,” “Happies and Crappies,” “Ups and Downs,” and the list goes on. Regardless the name, the general purpose is the same: to connect the people in the room. It’s a simple, go-around-the-room activity where people share a positive and/or a not-so-positive part of their lives.

Why

To connect the people in the room. Nothing connects humans better than shared experiences, so when we share our experiences (Smiles and Frowns), we see ourselves in others and others see themselves in us. And, eventually, “I” becomes “We.” A classroom becomes a community, a shared space where we struggle, we grow, we laugh, we cry, we learn, we live. A community. Our community.

But community is a commitment. A daily commitment. “We” takes time.

How

Here’s the general format of the activity along with some specifics I believe are key to successfully implementing and sustaining Smiles and Frowns.

Make time. Find a consistent time for the activity. I do it every day right after I take attendance. Some do it on Mondays. Some do it on Fridays. Some do it on both Mondays and Fridays as bookends to the week. I am a big advocate for doing it daily–no matter what. But I realize for some that may be a leap too far, especially for those just starting out with Smiles and Frowns. Regardless what you choose to do, consistency is key. Consistency leads to habit to routine to ritual. In my room, Smiles and Frowns is a ritual–a sacred one.

Invest time. Relationships are investments. Not gonna BS ya here, Smiles and Frowns takes time.

To be fair–and honest, I fretted the time commitment when I first began doing daily Smiles and Frowns. I know I claimed in the “Relationships Are Not Accidents” post that it only takes five minutes, but that’s not true. Some days, it does only take five minutes, but other days (most days) it takes ten or more. It depends (on so much), but I have learned to let go my old fears of “wasting instructional time,” and now I focus on the fact that I am investing in connections, in community, in us. As I said, “we” takes time. I invest in us.

Find a frame. Frame it for your kids. Here’s the gist of how I do it.

We are going to learn a lot in here this year, but of all the content we will consider, there is nothing more important than the people in this room, and so, we will spend time each day considering each other. We will “learn” each other. Every day, no matter what, we will begin our time together by connecting through an activity I call Smiles and Frowns. Here’s how it will work…

Or something like that. I encourage you to find a frame–for everything you put in front of kids, but especially for something as sacred as Smiles and Frowns (or whatever you come to call it). Feel free to use/adapt my frame, but please make it fit you and your kids, or it won’t work.

Pick a name. The name doesn’t matter. As I said earlier, there are a number of names for this activity. I like Smiles and Frowns. Pick one you like. Or, even better, make one up.

Consider configuration. I have my desks in a circle, which I believe is the best arrangement–we can see each other (a key to connection). But this can also be achieved by having kids stand in a circle if you don’t have your desks arranged in one. Please note, this does not need to be a deal-breaker. I know several who successfully conduct Smiles and Frowns with a variety of arrangements (including rows). As with everything, make it yours.

Go around the room, inviting each person (by name) to share a smile and/or frown from their lives. Typically, kids will “tag” their responses with, “Smile…” or “Frown…”

Promise the “Pass.” I cannot overstate the importance of letting–even encouraging–kids to pass. I write about it here in “The Power of the Pass.” Of course, I did not arrive at this understanding immediately. For too long, I took the pass personally, but now I see it and embrace it differently. For many, this seems to be the biggest, can’t-get-over-it obstacle to sustaining Smiles and Frowns. I got over it, by getting over it. Please let kids pass.

Community Circle

In addition to daily Smiles and Frowns, on Fridays we add “Community Circle” to the mix. My kids love Smiles and Frowns, but they LOVE Community Circle. And so, to any who are looking to up their community-connections game even further, I highly recommend adding this activity to your repertoire.

I run it the same as Smiles and Frowns. But, with Community Circle, I present specific prompts like the ones below.

I typically come up with four prompts on Friday morning, which I also share on Twitter (if you need prompts).

Yes, we still do Smiles and Frowns. Have to. Every day. No matter what.

And, yes, Community Circle takes even more time.

And, yes, happily, I invest.

I Guarantee It

It’s the only practice I guarantee. Everything else I do forms and fades as each better bends, but this is a better with an end. It changes the entire experience for everyone in the room. And it will for you, too. I guarantee it. I have had too many others tell me so over the years after they have made it a part of their practice. Smiles and Frowns is profoundly simple and simply profound. It will change you, your room, your kids–for better, forever.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.