The Cost of Connections: Project 180 Day 38

In my room I want you to feel connected…

This is my top self-standard I set for myself as a teacher. It all starts and ends here. I just wish what takes so long to start and build wouldn’t end so soon. And while I do expect and generally prepare for the fade from year to year as new groups of kiddos enter and leave my room, I am never really prepared for the abrupt ends that come between.

This morning, weary from my five-day, jet-lagged absence to Tennessee, I opened my email to heartbreak. Anubis is leaving. Leaving.

No. Can’t be. But no matter how many times I read it, the truth remains. Life is calling and Anubis, one of the most unique young people I have met in my tour of twenty-three, is moving. I will let his unique name speak for his unique spirit. Never met an Anubis before. Will likely never meet another. Don’t want to. There’s only one.

I “met” him after the ASB speeches last spring, where he first  caught my attention as a freshman running for office. I made a point to talk to him afterwards, congratulating him on his voice, his style, his courage. At that time, I asked him if he was taking honors LA the next year. He said he didn’t know. He was not in honors at the time, but he’d think about it. I then kept in touch with him as the year finished out as he became a “regular” for getting Cup Noodles from me. And then this fall, after an orchestrated schedule change, he landed in my fifth period honors LA class, where we all immediately fell in love with his unique, bright, earnest spirit. Kids love him. I love him. We love him. And he loves us. And now, we are without, and now we are broken. This is going to hurt the kids as much as it hurts me. I feel like Hawkeye from MASH when Trapper leaves without a goodbye. Without a goodbye.

I had to move to Seattle since my mom has type 4 liver cancer. She had been diagnosed 2 months ago but I have stayed here to watch the pets and go to school. The cancer is getting worse and the doctors have run out of ideas … they haven’t told us how much longer she has, but me and my family are going to be by her side. My grandparents want me to start school here and live here so I will. I love your class and I’m really going to miss it, some day I will come back to Cheney but right now I have to be by my mom. If you would like to call me instead of email my phone number is….

Sincerely, Anubis

We will call him during Smiles and Frowns today. I will put him on speaker phone, and we will connect with Anubis. We will let him know we miss him and that we are thinking of him during this hard time. It makes me think of our essential question for the semester, “How does the human experience connect and divide us?” Rarely it’s one or the other. We find both in our shared experiences. And we find the depth in our connections from the gap in our division.

I am heartbroken this morning. Yes, for myself–connections are selfish things. I need them. We need them. But mostly for this bright spirit who’s dealing with the harder moments of the human experience. I hurt in his hurt. But that’s the price we pay when we are connected. I am glad I am connected. It reminds me I am alive. It reminds me that we need others. We need each other.

Goodbye, dear Anubis. We are here. We are connected. Never forget that.

Today’s Trail

Along today’s trail we will…

…reconnect with Smiles and Frowns.

…finish and present our Storyboards.

…reflect in our Journey Journals.

…end with a Sappy Sy Rhyme.

Happy Tuesday, all. Glad to be back.

Do. Reflect. Do Better.

2 thoughts on “The Cost of Connections: Project 180 Day 38”

  1. I watched Paper Tigers this morning and there are so many elements therein that remind me of your work. Connections – makes all the difference in the world

    1. Hi, Cathy. Not familiar with Paper Tigers. But I will be. My kids were crushed 5th period. We called Anubis and talked to him. We needed it. I think he did, too. Connections.

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